- Anti Joke

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

that wall over there ->

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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