Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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