how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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