Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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