I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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Worms don't like apples.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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are u black unlucky

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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