So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -6

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops