A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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12 in general

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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