I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

Hey, come here often? No.

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

What's red and silly? A blood clot

Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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