what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

asdasdasdasd

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

joe galasso from plainview ny

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...