Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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