THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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