Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Hello

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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