Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops