Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

speak now or forever hold your pee

Knock Knock Who's there

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...