A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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A black person dies.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't Why can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllpeople tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllllWhy can't people tickle themselves? Because they can only hdhegebehegsggsgggggggglllllllll

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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