Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Yellow People !!

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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