Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops