Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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