What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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