whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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