How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops