your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My dog barks when someones at the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops