Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Women's rights

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops