roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

what did say when he created the first black Wow you are the first non-white I made

Banana

What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

What's the difference between a male dog and a female? One is a bitch. There are numerous other differences.

How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

What is the difference in a crow. There is none. Both legs are of equal length.

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A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

An Englishmen, an Australian, an American and a Chinese man were in a bar they were all friends who were having a drink together.

What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

Knock knock. Come in.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the black men.

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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