Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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american idol

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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