What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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bangers and mash?

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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