Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops