When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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