How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

This is an anti- joke

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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