Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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