Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Obama = ebola

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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