Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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