What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops