What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

penis

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

why is this joke funny because your laughing

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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