Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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