Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Haha, I get it..

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Get on the boat.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops