roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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God is real.

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What's worse than this That :(

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops