A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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