What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +11

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You're so sweet I have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops