How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Your mom went to college

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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