Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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