Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

what's funny about war? nothing!

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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