Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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I hate you.

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Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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GooglePlus.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Myspace

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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