A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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