Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLE FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPE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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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