Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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