Knock Knock! F*ck off

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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