A muslim walks into a gun shop

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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