Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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