Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops