what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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